Day 1 (The Travel).
-Said my goodbyes, leave Calgary to Seattle then to LA. Good times are already being had, me and Patty both didn't sleep at all the night before so we have hit the stage of tired mental handicap and giddiness.

In LA we had 9 hours to kill. First off, we grab a bite and double Caesar... Well maybe a couple. Then, when we get the bill we find out each ounce of booze is 6 bucks... Buzz kill. After paying to much for not enough alcohol to get me drunk I find out that the Australian Immigration has not updated my passport information on my working holiday visa. This will prevent me from flying from LA to FIJI. I show them all my paper work, and they believe me except "Its not showing up in their computer".  After talking to numerous managers and "Superiors" I cave and end up buying the $20 tourist visa they are trying to sell me that gets me from FIJI to Australia. The technological work prevails again over human interaction.  Once I got to Australia everything was in order on the computer and I had no problems at customs.

Next we arrive in FIJI after the grueling 10 hour flight. Luckily my plan of taking a sleeping pill after watching the movie to avoid the monotony worked! As we exit the plane I notice: 1) FIJI smells like bird shit, 2) all the dudes are wearing skirts. I instantly thought about the Scottish. Manly men. So manly that when their kilts froze into daggers and gashed their legs, they kept marching with haste. Don't mess with Scottish dudes. I guess the kilt is a symbol of bravery and honor. The only logical explanation that I could come up with for the dudes in FIJI is that its so bloody hot that they need circulation around their male parts.  This is admirable because they are probably the happiest, comfiest guys on earth. Proper circulation is key.

Flight from FIJI to Sydney is smooth. We were traveling in a Boeing 747, this is the most massive plane I have ever seen. So massive that reggae god Jimmy Cliff was traveling in first class on it. I introduced myself and told him that his show at lollapalooza opened my mind to reggae and that his flute player looked like he could kill Hulk Hogan with one finger. He laughed and said "Yeah that's one scary flute player." In the plane met a nice girl who was just returning from a crazy sounding bus trip from mexico. She lived in this bus for months traveling around teaching English ways to locals. She gave us her info in case we encounter any hardships.

We made it to Sydney EFF yesh!

Going to Australia.

Tbone Miller: First time blogger, full time rapARTist. Ok, I suck at this but im sure my mom will be the only one reading this blog anyways. Its about -4000 degrees here in Calgary today, so cold that even an Inuit would be suffering from turtle time*. Needless to say im amped to get to Australia to soak in the sun and to figure out if Australians indeed are British red necks.

*Turtle time: A certain male organ reacting to the cold such as a turtle would react when retracting his head into its shell.