Thing I did while stuck in Melbourne airport for 24 hours.
-Got drunk alone
-Tried with no avail, to slide down some luggage shoots
-Went to sleep alone in a remote corner of the airport, to wake up to 6 people also sleeping around me. Impromptu "Nap Circle"
-Got kicked out of the prayer room by angry Muslims.
-Almost missed my flight again
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
I was laying in the soft grass, eyes shifting between the starry night sky and the slowly billowing bushes adjacent to me. The gentle rustle of creatures scurrying in and out of the growth was keeping my ears occupied, soaking in the tranquility of nature. An angelic moment to say the least, brought to a crashing halt by a miniscule droplet of water. Spurred by the droplet, the realization that the fucking sprinklers are about to turn on shattered my reverie. Patty (my travel partner) and I are sleeping in a downtown park in the sprawling metropolis of Melbourne. Wrapped in a home outfitter duvet cover I was almost starting to enjoy the experience. An experience that was direct cause and effect of procrastinating to find a job. That was, until the sprinklers turned on. Scurrying to gather all my worldly possessions before the sprinklers get the best of me, I came to another shocking realization that Patty is nowhere to be seen. He has had a tendency to get drunk and wander off, but I know tonight we are sober. Painfully sober.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Sydney.
My first impression of Syndey is it looks like Montreal with the old sandstone buildings, deep culture and the feeling that the people here never sleep. Also, it feels like a sauna, and smells like insects. I love the place.
Our first hostel was very friendly, we sat in the courtyard and complained about being jet lagged, but they invited us to drink some cheap Auzzie wine, (apparently the best way to get over jet lag) so of course I'm game. Shortly after, some German guy puked on himself. GO GERMANY. I met a girl from Manchester, who reminded me a lot of people back home. This is because she filled me in with hostel gossip. She told me of "Richard the Creep", a dude in his 40's who looks like a leather skinned, acid abused Richard Branson, with a bald spot. He pushes drugs to the bars in Kings Cross (this is the sketchy part of town we are staying at) and he creeps on girls in the hostel. As well she told me of a time when he went to the free food bin, pulled out this Jam that people have been avoiding for days because it looked so disgusting and left to the bathroom and never came back with the jam. Then the next day he told her how much he loved the free food bin in this place, and didn't she think the same?
While recovering from jet lag, I cannot sleep past 7am. Things I noticed at 7 are 1) street cleaning everymorning. Its no wonder the city looks so nice. 2) How many people are up running, reading in parks and enjoying the Auzzie weather. 3) Hookers packing up for the night and looking for drugs.
We stayed 4 nights in Sydney but at the end of them we decided that it was enough, the city is crazy busy and you can easily spend a load of money here. So we decide to take a 7 dollar train ride up to NewCastle.
Our first hostel was very friendly, we sat in the courtyard and complained about being jet lagged, but they invited us to drink some cheap Auzzie wine, (apparently the best way to get over jet lag) so of course I'm game. Shortly after, some German guy puked on himself. GO GERMANY. I met a girl from Manchester, who reminded me a lot of people back home. This is because she filled me in with hostel gossip. She told me of "Richard the Creep", a dude in his 40's who looks like a leather skinned, acid abused Richard Branson, with a bald spot. He pushes drugs to the bars in Kings Cross (this is the sketchy part of town we are staying at) and he creeps on girls in the hostel. As well she told me of a time when he went to the free food bin, pulled out this Jam that people have been avoiding for days because it looked so disgusting and left to the bathroom and never came back with the jam. Then the next day he told her how much he loved the free food bin in this place, and didn't she think the same?
While recovering from jet lag, I cannot sleep past 7am. Things I noticed at 7 are 1) street cleaning everymorning. Its no wonder the city looks so nice. 2) How many people are up running, reading in parks and enjoying the Auzzie weather. 3) Hookers packing up for the night and looking for drugs.
We stayed 4 nights in Sydney but at the end of them we decided that it was enough, the city is crazy busy and you can easily spend a load of money here. So we decide to take a 7 dollar train ride up to NewCastle.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Day 1 (The Travel).
-Said my goodbyes, leave Calgary to Seattle then to LA. Good times are already being had, me and Patty both didn't sleep at all the night before so we have hit the stage of tired mental handicap and giddiness.
In LA we had 9 hours to kill. First off, we grab a bite and double Caesar... Well maybe a couple. Then, when we get the bill we find out each ounce of booze is 6 bucks... Buzz kill. After paying to much for not enough alcohol to get me drunk I find out that the Australian Immigration has not updated my passport information on my working holiday visa. This will prevent me from flying from LA to FIJI. I show them all my paper work, and they believe me except "Its not showing up in their computer". After talking to numerous managers and "Superiors" I cave and end up buying the $20 tourist visa they are trying to sell me that gets me from FIJI to Australia. The technological work prevails again over human interaction. Once I got to Australia everything was in order on the computer and I had no problems at customs.
Next we arrive in FIJI after the grueling 10 hour flight. Luckily my plan of taking a sleeping pill after watching the movie to avoid the monotony worked! As we exit the plane I notice: 1) FIJI smells like bird shit, 2) all the dudes are wearing skirts. I instantly thought about the Scottish. Manly men. So manly that when their kilts froze into daggers and gashed their legs, they kept marching with haste. Don't mess with Scottish dudes. I guess the kilt is a symbol of bravery and honor. The only logical explanation that I could come up with for the dudes in FIJI is that its so bloody hot that they need circulation around their male parts. This is admirable because they are probably the happiest, comfiest guys on earth. Proper circulation is key.
Flight from FIJI to Sydney is smooth. We were traveling in a Boeing 747, this is the most massive plane I have ever seen. So massive that reggae god Jimmy Cliff was traveling in first class on it. I introduced myself and told him that his show at lollapalooza opened my mind to reggae and that his flute player looked like he could kill Hulk Hogan with one finger. He laughed and said "Yeah that's one scary flute player." In the plane met a nice girl who was just returning from a crazy sounding bus trip from mexico. She lived in this bus for months traveling around teaching English ways to locals. She gave us her info in case we encounter any hardships.
We made it to Sydney EFF yesh!
-Said my goodbyes, leave Calgary to Seattle then to LA. Good times are already being had, me and Patty both didn't sleep at all the night before so we have hit the stage of tired mental handicap and giddiness.
In LA we had 9 hours to kill. First off, we grab a bite and double Caesar... Well maybe a couple. Then, when we get the bill we find out each ounce of booze is 6 bucks... Buzz kill. After paying to much for not enough alcohol to get me drunk I find out that the Australian Immigration has not updated my passport information on my working holiday visa. This will prevent me from flying from LA to FIJI. I show them all my paper work, and they believe me except "Its not showing up in their computer". After talking to numerous managers and "Superiors" I cave and end up buying the $20 tourist visa they are trying to sell me that gets me from FIJI to Australia. The technological work prevails again over human interaction. Once I got to Australia everything was in order on the computer and I had no problems at customs.
Next we arrive in FIJI after the grueling 10 hour flight. Luckily my plan of taking a sleeping pill after watching the movie to avoid the monotony worked! As we exit the plane I notice: 1) FIJI smells like bird shit, 2) all the dudes are wearing skirts. I instantly thought about the Scottish. Manly men. So manly that when their kilts froze into daggers and gashed their legs, they kept marching with haste. Don't mess with Scottish dudes. I guess the kilt is a symbol of bravery and honor. The only logical explanation that I could come up with for the dudes in FIJI is that its so bloody hot that they need circulation around their male parts. This is admirable because they are probably the happiest, comfiest guys on earth. Proper circulation is key.
Flight from FIJI to Sydney is smooth. We were traveling in a Boeing 747, this is the most massive plane I have ever seen. So massive that reggae god Jimmy Cliff was traveling in first class on it. I introduced myself and told him that his show at lollapalooza opened my mind to reggae and that his flute player looked like he could kill Hulk Hogan with one finger. He laughed and said "Yeah that's one scary flute player." In the plane met a nice girl who was just returning from a crazy sounding bus trip from mexico. She lived in this bus for months traveling around teaching English ways to locals. She gave us her info in case we encounter any hardships.
We made it to Sydney EFF yesh!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Going to Australia.
Tbone Miller: First time blogger, full time rapARTist. Ok, I suck at this but im sure my mom will be the only one reading this blog anyways. Its about -4000 degrees here in Calgary today, so cold that even an Inuit would be suffering from turtle time*. Needless to say im amped to get to Australia to soak in the sun and to figure out if Australians indeed are British red necks.
*Turtle time: A certain male organ reacting to the cold such as a turtle would react when retracting his head into its shell.
*Turtle time: A certain male organ reacting to the cold such as a turtle would react when retracting his head into its shell.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)